Jules Jordan’s Lex The Impaler #4

Lex the Impaler has an absolutely stellar cast – some of the best of the old and the new, a couple of legitimate porn legends and some fresh new talent, some standard porn girls and some quirky niche stars. Sometimes these things are a little rocky, with their ups and down, but the combination of Lexington Steele, Jules Jordan and the six girls they’ve brought together for this DVD is pretty close to perfect.

Tiffany Mynx just keeps getting better and better – riper with every scene, sluttier, dirtier. More makeup, more piercings, more of everything, and she just keeps looking better and better, and her performances get hotter too. Her teases get hotter and hotter, her dirty talk dirtier. It’s her first time with Lex, and she makes the most of it – the whole scene is a slow burn, and every part of it - tease, blowjob, fucking – stretches out for a long time. The whole thing is so hot that whatever scene they were planning on acting out breaks down, and they end up just fucking up a storm. Lex does her in every hole, in pretty much every position.

Kelly Divine, a curvy blonde, has a huge ass, moderately big fake tits that have a nice hang to them, and a great capacity for cock. Her scene is good but not remarkable – if there’s a weak link in the chain of scenes, this one’s it, but it would be hard to argue that it’s weak in any way except purely relative to the others. Kelly puts a lot of effort into her scene, and with Jules at the helm it’s going to come out right almost no matter who’s in it. Kelly, like Tiffany, takes Lex in every hole.

Jenny Hendrix is so fucking sexy it makes your head spin. She’s like a curvier Jenna Haze, with the same kind of almost-exotic cast to her face. Usually blonde, she’s been showing up lately with a short black bob that looks really good on her (although proponents of the blonde Jenny are vocal in their condemnation). She says it’s her first time with a black man (you can judge for yourself how likely that is, but the boxcover says nothing about it), but if it is she doesn’t make a big deal out of it – just climbs on and gets to work. There’s no anal, but if you like Jenny the way she is you might want to pick this one up – she is apparently investing in a set of new tits, and this could be one of the last times you’ll see her unspoiled.

Gianna Michaels is like bacon – she makes everything better. In fact, the only thing Gianna might not improve is bacon itself, which doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try a big plate of bacon and Gianna just to see, although Gianna and twenty pounds of bacon might just be equally fatal. With 5’11” of bounce, Gianna is one of the wildest, mot energetic girls in porn, and she always pushes her costars to their limits. She’s a foul-mouthed gyrating demoness who laughs all the time, just finds utter glee in getting fucked really hard, and this scene is just as good as any other she’s ever done.

Veteran Lisa Ann is having a whole new career as a MILF. Jules sets up a whole bullshit scene about her being an appraiser, which is possibly the most half-assed intro I’ve ever seen in a high-end movie, but fortunately it’s forgotten almost immediately and they get right to grips. Lisa Ann seems to have gotten a deathgrip on the Sarah Palin glasses and my never give them up, which is okay because they look good on her. Her one flaw is a set of big, ludicrously fake breasts, but if you don’t mind bolt-ons, there’s no reason to complain about her scene, in which she does not do anal but does do pretty much everything else.

Having just knocked Lisa Ann’s big fake tits, I am going to turn around and say that I like Raven Black’s even though they are bigger and faker. Everything about Raven Black is big and fake, which makes her kind of weirdly hot, like a living RealDoll. She is one of those women who is so much a caricature of sexiness that she is hot in spite of the fakeness – she has pink hair, soccer-ball tits, a haircut like a mall Goth, a face like an Italian tranny, and a predilection for black men and cuckolding that verges on the creepy, but I still like watching her. She is a construct, a thing created for pleasure, but that’s the attraction. Anyway, it’s her first time with Lex and he appreciates her charms too, so even though this scene isn’t all that hot on paper for me, it works out in the end, although not anally.

Lex the Impaler has an absolutely stellar cast – some of the best of the old and the new, a couple of legitimate porn legends and some fresh new talent, some standard porn girls and some quirky niche stars. Sometimes these things are a little rocky, with their ups and down, but the combination of Lexington Steele, Jules Jordan and the six girls they’ve brought together for this DVD is pretty close to perfect. ... Read the Full Review!