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Surprise! November 18, 2013
Private Lives is a Penthouse Forum style effort purporting to relate the stories of Adam and Eve's customer base.
Usually it’s my position that a movie deserves to be judged on its own merits, but because we live in a fallen and imperfect world where people can get terribly upset about things that aren’t very important, I think it is only fair to mention that toward the end of this movie, there is a dude giving another dude head.
Watching Dana DeArmond in the role of hostess introduce these scenes is weird – she’s almost unrecognizable, made up and tarted up and cheered up to the point where I wonder why they picked her for the role; it is possible that they knew they were going to be treading some kinky(ish) ground and figured on her alt-cred to draw in the kind of people who wouldn’t mind a little freakiness. Whatever the case, she is a little hard to take, grinning and simpering, but Dana DeArmond at her worst – and she is definitely not at her worst here - is still not too bad.
This is definitely couples fare, and the first scene doesn’t break much new ground at first. It’s all about Jessica Ryan, a sexy little redhead whose husband is developing a leather fetish – he just has some leather swatches that he is planning on making a jacket out of, and he and his girl get kind of hot playing with it, which leads to him coming home with a pair of hot leather shorts and a leather dildo for her. This is really two scenes – the first part is some handwork on the couch to establish how hot the leather gets them, and the second is the payoff, where they reconvene in the bedroom and go all the way. There’s a little kink here, but not enough to really surprise; the leather dildo is a treat, and so is the fucking, which is slow, sensuous, and seemingly sincere.
The second scene is another multi-parter; Sara Luvv is a cute brunette with a slender body; her boyfriend Jake is the owner of the company where she works, which makes it easy for them to shut the office door and engage in the kind of hijinks that would engender a lawsuit in most workplaces. Here, it just inspires the other employees – Jessica Madison sticks her head in when Sara is on her knees sucking Jake’s cock, and the sight makes her want to do a little sucking of her own, so she accosts Cody and gets her wish. She’s a little bit of a tease, though, and the blowjob is interrupted, to be resumed later. She eventually finishes him off, and Sara and Jake finish up themselves at home after work hours.
Katie St. Ives and Chad Alva report on their invitation to a secret orgy, at which the participants wear masks and not much else. There’s not much foreplay or plot to this one – accompanied by Dana, the couple shows up at the orgy (the rule is that each person has to spend the first couple of hours separated from his or her date) and just goes to town. The scene is complicated by the fact that all seven of the women listed in the credits - Katie St. Ives, Dana DeArmond, Dillion Harper, Karmen Karma, Sarah Shevon, Jessica Madison and Rilynn Rae (only five of whom actually have sex) are brunette and spend a good chunk of their orgy time wearing masks. If you’re willing to put the time into figuring out who is who by matching up tattoos, you’re welcome to; for me, it’s enough to catch glimpses of the transcendent Katie St. Ives, who I would be happy to watch doing laundry. It’s a good, dirty scene, with enough variety and activity to keep anyone happy. Dana DeArmond and Karmen Karma also stand out.
This scene is pretty hot, for a few reasons. Even if you’re not into bisexual men, it’s nice to run onto something unexpected in porn, and a scene like this is nothing if not unexpected. Dominik Kross’s protestations of a lifetime of heterosexuality are belied by his haircut; he and Jimmy Broadway are working out at their gym when Alyssa Branch comes in. The changing room is just a chainlink fence surrounding some lockers, and when Alyssa gets out of her business suit on the way to her workout clothes the whole slow strip is visible to the two guys in the gym, and when she just sits down and starts masturbating, naturally, they can see that as well. Things proceed from there about as you would expect them to, and the cocks come out in short order. We’re obviously headed for a threesome; since Dana thoughtfully warns us about the bisexuality, it’s no surprise that when Jimmy Broadway comes over and joins Dominik and Alyssa the game changes entirely after some good foreplay. To be fair, the cocksucking is the extent of the bi action, but it is still a huge change from the usual fare. Both guys do at least a little sucking, which is considerate, and Alyssa rewards them both with some of her own, and Alyssa rides both of their faces. The scene is all oral, with no fucking, but that’s quite enough. If you can enjoy it on those terms, you’ll have a good time.