The Accidental Hooker

I encourage you to read the text from the back of The Accidental Hooker closely, for one excellent reason: it is that rarest of things -- cover copy that does not promise something it can't deliver. That's right -- everything that you read on the back of this movie is accurate. Like you, I am weary to my bones of dark worlds of unholy lust, betrayal and passion. I have had all the deadly secrets I can take, and my tolerance for what porn wishes me to believe is Machiavellian intrigue has been worn to a shadow. That is why I am happy to see that "a terrifying truth" was actually revealed at the end of The Accidental Hooker, and that it actually "may mean the end for the unsuspecting film crew." Features are so often disappointing that it's really great to run into one that is both skillfully made and subtle, a movie that actually fulfills its promise and its promises.

The Accidental Hooker is essentially a dialogue between Kaylani Lei and Marcus London, both of whom acquit themselves very well in roles as, respectively, a high-class hooker and an aspiring director. London's project, a documentary about the differences and similarities of prostitution and its practitioners around the world leads him to Kaylani for the American segment. She's a former college student whose relationship with an older businessman leads to a career as an escort when his gifts of money for tuition and books turn into outright payments. Once his friends and business associates get into the act, she finds herself stepping across a line into being a whore, not just a girl with a sugar-daddy. From there on in, the stories she tells the camera are tales of increasing debauchery, of her own lust for sex and her quest for partners who can handle her. Customers, random encounters, and fellow streetwalkers and their employers all get a taste of her nearly unstoppable sexuality.

The Accidental Hooker is so good that I'm not even going to hint at anything more, for fear of spoiling it. The sex is in the Wicked mold -- you've seen all of the performers before, probably in the same combinations in various movies. If you've seen Wicked movies before and you still come back for the sex, this one will make you want to come back for the next one. Brad Armstrong is, thankfully, not wearing a studded leather outfit and a black wig for his scene with Kaylani, which is a great start, and everything goes smoothly from there. Her tryst with her executive boyfriend leads to an assignation with Deep Threat in which she finally crosses the line to outright hookery. Once she's firmly in the business, she starts paying attention to her fellow whores fortips on how to be the best she can be, and she and Victoria Sin have a delicious little ménage a trios with Nico in which Kaylani watches from the couch and joins in later (if voyeurism is your thing, this will do the job for you). Kinky couples, she says, are her favorites, and she hooks up with Tommy Gunn and Shyla Stylez for another BBG threesome. The final scene is a good old-fashioned orgy, just like the ones movies used to end with, featuring Kaylani, Jennifer Dark, Mikayla, Devon Lee, Deep Threat, and Derrick Pierce as her fellow sex-workers.

I encourage you to read the text from the back of The Accidental Hooker closely, for one excellent reason: it is that rarest of things -- cover copy that does not promise something it can't deliver. That's right -- everything that you read on the back of this movie is accurate. Like you, I am weary to my bones of dark worlds of unholy lust, betrayal and passion. I have had all the deadly secrets I can take, and my tolerance for what porn wishes me to believe is Machiavellian intrigue has been worn to a shadow. That is why I am happy to see that "a terrifying truth" was actually revealed at the end of The Accidental Hooker, and that it actually "may mean the end for the unsuspecting film crew." Features are so often disappointing that it's really great to run into one that is both skillfully made and subtle, a movie that actually fulfills its promise and its promises.... Read the Full Review!