Monique On the Sly

So here's the deal: new Paul Thomas comedy, small cast, not so many scenes, pretty straightforward plot. Monique's husband, Steven St. Croix, has sex with another woman, she catches him, has revenge sex with a friend of his and then there's a big orgy at the end, and that's really the whole deal right there. The Vivid universe is one world larger.

Scene 1: Monique Alexander, Steven St. Croix
Monique roams around, cleaning things up in a darkened room, in which Steven is asleep on a couch; once she gets tired of tidying up, she sits down next to him to play with herself, spreading her legs and fingering her pussy. That's not as satisfying as it might sound, so she uncovers his cock and starts to suck on him. He stays asleep for a while, although his johnson responds eagerly, and she gives up and heads into the bathroom to go at herself with a shower massager. Having woken up, he follows her in and takes over the massager duties for a little while, after which he lets her suck him again. When she's done bobbing on him, he climbs down in the tub and puts her pussy in his face, licking her cunt and asshole as she moans her appreciation, and, having wetted her down thoroughly with massager and tongue, stands up and fucks her in standing doggy. They switch to cowgirl and then to standing cowgirl, spoon and missionary before he unleashes an enormous popshot on her belly.

Après-sex, Steven says he has to get off to the restaurant for the birthday dinner, and tells her not to be late; this is the first bit of dialogue in the movie, twenty-five minutes in. When Steven gets to the restaurant, he stops to read a couple of reviews of his cooking - apparently he's a cook - and gets propositioned by Lexi, whose come-on talk is direct but pitifully unsophisticated

Scene 2: Lexi Bardot, Steven St. Croix
Lexi undresses herself while Steven watches, slapping her own ass and fingering her pussy. Steven can't take the teasing anymore and finally hauls out his cock, swipes it across a chocolate cake, and makes her lick off the frosting. He covers her ass in frosting as well, licking it off her and then lifting her up to fuck her on the counter. He turns her around to fuck her from behind, then gets her down on the floor for more doggy and then missionary. He pulls out to watch her finger herself, then jumps aboard again, then rolls her over to fuck her in spoon. He switches to her asshole, and while he's pounding away and then shooting on her belly, Monique, who has recently arrived at the restaurant for their friend Tommy's birthday party, walks into the room just in time for the pop shot.

Scene 3: Monique Alexander, Azalea Lee, Franco Del Torro
Monique flees the room to find the bartender (apparently the bartender is married to the woman Steven is fucking) and tell him the news, but he doesn't care at all. It turns out that he is having his own affair with Azalea. Dejected, she leaves, or starts to. She can't bring herself to walk away, and comes back to find Franco eating Azalea's pussy. She strips down to join in, and Azalea makes a beeline for her, settling in between her thighs. Franco watches from across the room until the two girls get tired of pussy, whereupon he offers his services, among other things. They share the chore of cocksucking until he absolutely has to get inside Monique, fucking her doggy style as she eats Azalea out. He fucks Azalea in missionary while Monique watches, then trades girls and fucks Monique in spoon while Azalea masturbates on a nearby chair. He pulls out of Monique for an impressive popshot on Azalea's face - or, to be precise, mostly past her face and onto her back.

There's a long birthday dinner scene in which a lot of people tell stories about what a bad boy Tommy is, stories about his wild exploits in and out of bed - apparently Tommy doesn't need a bed to get it on. Toasts are toasted, jests are jested, and a surprise ending is deployed. I won't spoil it, except to say that it ends with

Scene 4: Monique Alexander, Azalea Lee, Lexi Bardot, Tommy Gunn
After an eruption of discussion at the table, the girls form a discussion group and decide they all need to fuck Tommy, the birthday boy. They all return to the table and dismiss the other guys so they can wish a proper happy birthday to Tommy. Either that or they all leave and Tommy just imagines that they are wishing him a proper happy birthday. Either way, what we see is the girls undressing Tommy and then going after him in a mini-reverse gangbang. They take turns sucking his cock, fucking him, and making out with each other while the others do the same in various combinations until they all get on their knees and line up for Tommy to shoot across their breasts, and the big orgy scene ends. The various permutations are too many to catalog, but everybody gets some dick and they all go home happy.

This is, in many ways, a standard Vivid offering, although it falls short in some ways - curiously, its failures are what saves it from awfulness. The sex is hot, with a pretty standard cast - Monique Alexander is reasonably sexy, although she's not particularly awe-inspiring, like many of her Vivid Girl predecessors. Usually, you can count on a big cast with at least a few extras and seven or eight scenes from a Vivid movie, but this one breaks the mold. Plotwise, like most, this thing is a mess. Actually, it's a void - there's no story at all. Oddly, that's what saves it from being outright terrible; as it is, the bare framework is just enough support for four scenes that have only the sketchiest relationship to each other but stand alone just fine. Paul Thomas's movies are usually far more complex than either the material or the stars deserve, and it's nice not to have to sit through another P.T. comedy (the cover describes "Monique On The Sly" as a comedy, but don't be fooled - not only is it not funny, it's barely a movie. If these scenes had come from four different films, they would have made a decent compilation, as it is, it's hard to tell what to call it, except a welcome surprise.   Collapse.

So here's the deal: new Paul Thomas comedy, small cast, not so many scenes, pretty straightforward plot. Monique's husband, Steven St. Croix, has sex with another woman, she catches him, has revenge sex with a friend of his and then there's a big orgy at the end, and that's really the whole deal right there. The Vivid universe is one world larger.... Read the Full Review!